Caring for older family members can be extremely challenging and exhausting.
I was the pharmacist in a wonderful long term care facility for 18 years. During my rounds on the floors in this 400-bed skilled care facility, I observed many of these patients over the years. I saw how difficult it was for our entire staff to care for them - even with all of their specialized training and equipment. While it's a noble and loving undertaking, I never understood how families could ever manage this kind of care in a home. It can be totally draining - both physically and financially. At some point it's kinder for all concerned to seriously consider assisted living or long term care - without feeling guilty.
Alzheimer's robs people of their memory in a backward regression. Several patients who had played the piano in their younger days, could still play an entire classical piece from memory, but they could not tell you what they had for lunch 5 minutes ago... or even if they had lunch at all. The older memories seem to be safely embedded in the deepest part of the brain, but recent events just bounce off the surface like water off a duck's back or a little like peeling away layers of an onion. (and both can make you cry...)
Families would often come into the pharmacy asking about some drug that they had seen on TV. These people were desperately looking for something... anything that would help their loved ones. Unfortunately, I had to tell them in all honesty, not to waste their money. True, there are drugs that are promoted for slowing the progress of the disease, but from my observations, they gave the family a little hope but did very little, if anything to help the patient.
To better understand what is happening, I would describe some very basic truths about aging, which seemed to explain a lot - about older people - and especially Alzheimer's patients:
As people age, all of the 5 senses will diminish over time.
"Sight" and "hearing" are usually the first to decline, which can severely limit mobility. If you can't see and you can't hear, it's difficult to get around on your own, and even the simple pastime of watching TV becomes a bother. This lack of freedom increases feelings of isolation and can cause depression and anxiety. It is even more troubling for Alzheimer's patients. When it starts to get dark outside, these patients often realize they're not where they should be (at home or in a familiar place) and they panic because they can't remember where home is. This is called: the Sundown Syndrome. I imagine this is what it would be like having amnesia.
When we lose our sense of "smell", it also affects our sense of "taste", which explains why most older people have lost their appetite. Familiar foods just don't smell or taste good - so why bother? They forget to eat and drink. Poor nutrition will lead to a rapid decline in health, and that's why it's important to provide daily vitamins to supplement the nutritional deficiencies and offer frequent glasses of water to avoid dehydration. These patients simply forget to drink water, because they don't remember what it means to be thirsty or what to do about it.
Interestingly, the sense of "touch" is the last to go. A hug, a kiss, a pat on the hand will still reach patients who may no longer even recognize family members or caregivers.
A smile never goes out of style, so wear one all the time - you may find that they're highly contagious!
Hope this helps a little.
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