Care Bears or Care Barriers?

What if Granny lives alone and starts needing help with daily activities? How do you handle it?
OnTimeRx automated reminders can be a wonderful solution as long as all parties "buy into" the process and there are no "surprises".

It is normal to be concerned when certain things start to slip, but It can get pretty tricky providing for the care needs of a senior without seeming to meddle or take over. The health and well-being of a parent may be your responsibility now, but most parents prefer to remain very independent and want everything to stay just the way it's always been.

Here's 3 things you should NOT do:

1. Don't ask her if she knows she's missing some of her pills. This puts her on the defensive right away, and she will probably deny that this ever happens or that it is a real problem.

2. Don't count the pills out in front of her to prove that there are too many left. Even though her prescriptions are lasting too long and it's quite obvious, this will tend to be demeaning.

3. Don't simply start sending reminder phone calls without her permission. It's not a good idea to surprise anyone with automated calls. They may get even more confused and wonder why this strange person is calling everyday.

So what can you do? Here's 4 things that should help::

1. Do pay her a sincere compliment. Tell her how much you appreciate all she's done for you in the past and ask how she managed to take such good care of the family all those years. Listen - actively and quietly. There may be some real gems in her answer.

2. Do ask her if there's anything you can do now that might make it easier for her at this stage in life? Turn about is fair play! This may also reveal some issues you might not have considered.

3. Do discuss her daily routine and find out which activities she really enjoys. If there are some that are a problem, ask what might make it better.

4. Do ask if she would be willing to help you eliminate some your daily stresses. Explain that you've found a very simple phone service that helps you stay organized, and ask if she'd like to try it, too. Explain that the calls are automated and it relieves you from "clock-watching" to get things done. Suggest trying the calls for a few days to see if a reminder might help her routine, too. If she mentions reminders for medications, GREAT! (But don't count on it...)

Several family caregivers have found that OnTimeRx reminders work well for non-medication related daily activities.

Example #1: One very socially active gentleman lives alone and likes to go out dancing every evening. He takes a nap in the afternoon and sometimes he sleeps so soundly that he would miss his "dancing date". Not only was this disappointing to his dancing partners, it thoroughly messed up his evening. So his daughter scheduled a wake-up call every afternoon that says: "Nap time is over, Dad! It's time to go dancing. Have a great evening."

Example #2: A lady living in an assisted living facility was frequently missing her mealtimes. The family paid for a full meal plan, but Mother often didn't get down to the dining room in time to eat. The daughter asked for her help. Because Mother was from the "Depression era", the daughter knew she didn't like the idea that food was being paid for and wasted, so she agreed to get a daily call at mealtimes and hasn't missed a meal since, and she's actually put on some needed weight in the process. Win-Win!